My Friends Dumped Me

Even Dick blocked me because I objected to Americans being called dumb.

All my few friends have abandoned me, and I do not blame them, for I have become a grumpy old man of late. For example, I alienated an old friend, whom I call Richard “Dick” Harden Justaman to conceal his identify. He chose to barrage me from his travels all over the world with a dozen emails in a row every day beginning and ending with “Fuck Trump,” and that even after I pleaded with him politely to “please stop,” and, when he persisted, I asked him to “Stop being a Canadian American dickhead,” whereupon he doubled down with his “Fuck Trump” litany, repetitively referred to Americans as “dumb,” and to Ivanka Trump, whom he says tried to “fuck” him on a deal, as a “fucking cunt,” and when I complained about that, he blocked me!

So what did I do to deserve such abuse from Dick? I had tolerated and joked around in various ways to his “Fuck Trump,” like, “Go ahead, see how you like it up his ass, but when I stopped joking, I was dumped and blocked. And then my beautiful lady friends dumped me because I started being honest when I should have just shut up. But never mind, woe is me, fresh out of friends; I tried to get them back but here I am all alone and depressed, almost dead already, so what to do, get it over with once and for all?